Christians just like Muslims, have a less than noble origin. The Christian Crusades, The Spanish inquisition... the Witch hunts. Just like in Greek mythology, Christians are so fearful of what MIGHT happen if they do not follow a certain set of rituals. Just like many others religion, Christians believe in one higher power and that it controls everything in the universe including us and we need to live in a constant state of humility and semblance to this power and we must do exactly as were are told by the chosen messengers of God. Only difference is Christians tend to hate everyone else and used to kill them.
So my entire life Ive never been "sold" on the whole Christian thing. I had too many unanswered questions and asking them made me the enemy. I did attempt with all of my heart, mind, body and soul to feel what my mother always told me I would feel if I basically just did exactly what she told me to do. So I did,my whole child hood I went to church 2-3 times a week, was a youth leader, sang on the praise and worship team, spoke in tongues, was slain in the spirit read my bible, said my prayers, was always kind and respectful to others, stayed away from anything my mother deemed "evil, satanic or blasphemous". I stayed a virgin, didn't do drugs, didn't swear. I was a Christian. I was "good". but all I felt was like I was faking it to avoid being persecuted. I felt like I was talking to the ceiling, speaking gibberish, letting some guy knock me over to avoid being the only one left standing in front of a judgmental church and reading a set of rules i am to blindly follow. Even though I did my best to blend into the Christian crowd... I stuck out like a sore thumb. Til this day my mother is convinced that I am influenced by evil. She is a modern day Witch hunter and everybody is a potential Witch until she has decided for herself. Guilty until proven innocent... sound familiar.
I always felt like the black sheep of my family. Particularly my moms side. I always related more to my dads side of the family but because I grew up being told that they were all Witches and full of the devil I never really gave into the feelings of closeness I had to them and remained a little stand off-ish... even fearful and judgmental. But I always knew I was different. I wasn't like other kids. I was extremely sensitive and intuitive. I was always in my own world and it was a fantastic world. Whether I was envisioning I was a fairy, mermaid or princess, I was always searching for a way to escape the world I was in. I knew there was so much more out there waiting for me to discover. I was always "curious" about all of the things I shouldn't be.
Now as an Adult I am on a journey to spiritual enlightenment. I am doing research, asking lots of questions and hunting for answers. Right now I am reading some fascinating books on the nature based religion of Wicca. I have never had a spiritual practice speak to me so much. Its as if they know me inside and out. I'm excited to start learning more. I'm still not completely sold on the idea of religion but I'm open to seeing, hearing, feeling and experiencing all the world has to offer and the I'll decide for myself. <3
Peace and Blessings,
Nora Love
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